Don't Rush the Process

Let’s face it, we all start at the bottom when it comes to the wedding planning process. Even our team at Elegant Affairs had to start somewhere. Everyone experiences the same questions when it comes to beginning the wedding planning process. Planning a wedding isn’t easy and you may not know what you’re doing right from the start. Questions will arise and you  may have to google some “how to” videos or blogs. And that’s okay – mistakes will happen and wedding planning will be a learning process. Our team is here to help guide you through the process, from start to finish, so here’s our guide on how to take the wedding planning journey one step at a time. 

#01: Don’t Rush your Engagement Announcement

Starting at the beginning of the journey, is saying “Yes!” to the best question you’ll ever be asked, “Will you marry me?”. After you get engaged, it is more than acceptable to wait to announce your engagement to the rest of the world. Wedding planning is fast-paced and can often feel overwhelming. Once you click that button to announce, you will have an influx of calls, messages, and emails all wanting to hear how it happened and get the juicy details. Don’t rush posting on your socials or making those calls, until you are ready and have fully enjoyed the moment with your partner. It is okay to put your phone down and be present. Yes, we know you want to show off your glamorous ring, but be sure to bask in the moment and experience all of the happiness you have for each other. Social media can wait another hour – or even a day. 

#02: Don’t Rush to Book Vendors 

You’re excited – we know. And you feel the urge to begin wedding planning and booking away. One of the biggest mistakes we’ve seen is that clients rush to book vendors, without fully researching or finding someone that fits your exact needs. Take your time when finding vendors that fit your exact needs. You want to choose vendors with careful consideration. This means, finding and interviewing a few vendors, attending a variety of tastings, and exploring multiple folks within your budget. It is always a good idea to compare and explore a few vendors, before signing on the dotted line. Don’t rush to book anyone, you want to avoid regrets on your wedding day. 

#03: Don’t Think “What If” 

The internet has everything at our fingertips. You can pull up Google and pull up thousands of ideas and wedding searches. As you begin planning, booking vendors, and making decisions, it is important to cross those items off your to-do list and move forward. Continuing to explore Pinterest boards, or scrolling through social media for the next great wedding planning advice, can cause you to second guess your decisions previously made. Be satisfied with your original decision and remember why you’ve made that decision in the first place! It is never good to wonder “what if” and don’t change your details over and over. Stick with your gut and don’t wonder if the grass is greener on the other side! 

#04: Don’t Overshare 

Sharing your excitement with friends and family throughout your planning is expected. You are thrilled to be on this journey and to have your loved ones experience it with you. As you plan, keep the details to a minimum. You want to ensure that your guests are surprised with what you have planned and can thoroughly enjoy your wedding day! Also, the more you share, the more people will have opinions on your wedding planning decisions. Share the details you want to share or are necessary to share, keep the rest between you, your partner, and your wedding vendors or planner(s). Leave your wedding day experience for you and your guests and don’t feel the need to overshare all of the details. 

#05: Don’t Try to Do Everything Yourself

Yes, we know that DIY projects can save you money. Or you may just really enjoy browsing Pinterest boards and crafting (we all love a good craft here and there). But, overextending your energy, time, and money can be stressful when it comes to wedding planning. Yes, you may have the capability to hand letter every invitation, or you may want to create all of your floral centerpieces the day before, but only take on what you can handle – or honestly, take on LESS. You don’t want to be stressed out on your wedding day, or leading up to your wedding. Hire wedding professionals to help you, or look into hiring a wedding planner/coordinator to execute your DIY projects. Don’t overwhelm yourself with so many projects and details that you cannot take the time to enjoy planning or the experience. Don’t try to do every detail yourself, ask for help, hire vendors to help, and create space in your budget to lessen the stress weddings can bring. 


Most importantly, you want to ensure that you are enjoying the wedding planning process with your partner. Don’t forget to savor all of the moments. Take moments for yourself after your engagement and don’t feel rushed to share on socials right away, don’t forget to ask for help and accept help where needed, don’t overshare, think carefully when booking vendors, and don’t feel the need to rush and sign contracts, and most importantly, be content with the decisions you make. Stop exploring other options, unless it is necessary or something in your gut doesn’t feel right. 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Vendor Spotlight: By Captivate

Let’s face it – we couldn’t be who we are, without our fabulous vendors. Over the years we’ve met so many wonderful individuals in the wedding industry. We decided to reach out to some of our vendors from the past and present, and ask them what fuels their business and what they're all about! So, sit down and relax with us as we sit down with our vendors to discuss what is at the heart of their business. We are so excited about this week’s vendor:

BY CAPTIVATE

Our mission is to serve our couples beyond the “I do” by capturing in-the-moment memories that last a lifetime. Through story-driven filmmaking, we’ll make documenting your day easy, carefree, and couple-focused so every detail, every moment, and every emotion can be re-lived for years to come.




 We’re dying to know – what made you dive into the world of weddings?
As life partners and parents, we know the feeling of “life passing you by” all too well. When we held our firstborn in our arms for the first time, we knew we couldn’t let one moment go by undocumented. From then on, we wanted to capture every single milestone, all while making sure we weren't sacrificing mindfulness and living in the present moment. That's exactly how we discovered our passion for filmmaking. Our heartbeat is to serve couples through filmmaking to help them remember and cherish the moments that matter the most forever, while allowing them to soak up every minute of their wedding day with ease.

Tell us about how you started your business.
A little over 10 years ago, we launched our videography venture. We've always been drawn to the camera, capturing the genuine moments that make life special. Throughout the past decade, we have filmed just about everything – from real estate and small business commercials to family photos. And now, we're excited to bring that touch to weddings!

What's the secret sauce behind bringing that touch of elegance to your projects?
What sets us apart is our unique approach. Our aim is to ensure you relish every moment of your wedding day, surrounded by your favorite people, without it feeling like an extended photo session. We assist in creating a serene atmosphere, allowing you to be fully present in the moment, while we seamlessly capture every detail for you to cherish later on.

Any wild, funny, or heartwarming tales from your wedding adventures?
One of our favorite heartwarming moments was from a wedding in Bonney Lake. The bride had a four-year-old son, who was beyond excited for his mom to get married, and to welcome his new dad into the family. The bride planned a special First look with her son. As soon as he saw her, he squealed with joy and exclaimed “Mommy you look so pretty!” We will never forget that moment, and the happy tears shared by all in the room!

Advice you want to give couples about the wedding planning process?
You’ve spent valuable time planning the perfect wedding day, but with every piece of planning advice you always seem to hear, “The day will fly by!” This day is a culmination of thoughtful decision-making, hours of planning, and your personal love story, and it should be documented as such. It’s not enough to capture stills. It’s time to document your day in a living way.

What trends do you hope to see or want to see in 2024?
We love seeing more and more private last dances. It’s usually the last moments of the night when the couple can share a special dance. It’s the perfect time to soak in the beautiful celebration and all the memories made from the day.

Spill the tea – what's the next big thing in weddings that has you buzzing with excitement?
We are so excited to see all of the new colors, trends, and vibes that are coming to the wedding world. It truly is an ever-evolving space, and we are so excited to see what comes next!

We love working with you, why do you love working with us?
We love working with Tiffany and Lori from Elegant Affairs. The work they do is truly so detail-oriented. No stone is left unturned in the planning process. They also come ready with three years of experience to navigate elegantly through any unforeseen circumstance on the day of.

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Exploring Traditional Wedding Etiquette

What wedding etiquette trends did you follow for your wedding day? Or what traditional etiquette rules do you plan on following? Let’s face it, it’s 2024. Throughout our time in the industry, we’ve seen wedding trends and etiquette come and go. Many couples are choosing to create unique, individualized experiences that stray away from what we think is typical or traditional. Weddings that we used to attend as children sure look a lot different than weddings that we flock to now. But, there are still many couples that opt for more of a traditional affair with these etiquettes in place. There are some aspects to weddings that many consider classic or respectful to one's culture, traditions, and family history. At the end of the day, no matter what route you choose to follow, every wedding is fit to the needs of the couple, which is really what matters. So, let’s explore some of the classic traditional wedding etiquette, but remember — just because it’s traditional etiquette doesn’t mean you have to fit the mold. 

#01: Be on Time 

Arriving on time for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception is vital. Now, not just for your guests, but for the wedding party and YOU. Everyone understands that hiccups and the occasional mishaps happen prior to walking down the aisle. But you want to stay on your timeline and ensure that you are not arriving late. Of course, your guests don’t mind waiting a few minutes, but when they are waiting in the hot sun for over a half hour for you to make your appearance, there are going to be some unhappy campers. Timing also impacts your vendors. Vendors work diligently to create your perfect day, therefore timeliness is important and a sign of respect. You want to respect your vendors’ time as well. So, work on sticking to your timeline (to the best of your ability) because, ultimately the timeline affects everyone. 

#02: Let your Guests be Guests

Weddings are a celebration of your love with your family and friends. It is a time for your guests to enjoy the experience with you – that means that you and your partner are the hosts of your guests. It is your role to not only host the wedding but to essentially take “care” of your guests. This includes ensuring accommodations for all guests are met throughout the night, including food AND drinks. Traditionally cash bars are a no-no. You don’t want your guests to have to pay for anything the night of your event. Traditionally it is frowned upon for your guests to pay for their own beverages. If you are able to budget for simple drinks, such as beer and wine, with easy non-alcoholic beverages, go that route. You don’t need to supply the whole liquor store to be a good guest. Plus, limiting your wedding alcohol selection means that guests won’t get too rowdy throughout your celebration. So, if you can – create the best experience – and free that is – for your guests to participate in. Let them enjoy and celebrate you, you are the hosts of your wedding day! 

#03: Keep Things Moving 

Okay, think about your worst wedding experience. Most of my worst wedding experiences tie into our #01 etiquette rule, about not having people wait, but this also means don’t wait for guests to be fed and for the party to start. Personally, I’ve been to a few weddings where there is a big gap of time between the ceremony and cocktail hour, or even the cocktail hour and the reception. If you are choosing to use the same venue for each aspect of your wedding, don’t make your guests wait and keep things moving. You definitely don’t want to keep your guests waiting, foodless, or for hours on end while you and your partner take your newlywed photos. As you plan your timeline, remember to be swift and minimize the time between each function for the wedding day. You don’t want your guests to be bored, or to be hangry. Avoid any long breaks that you can avoid. 

#04: Don’t Get Too Creative with Seating Charts

Oh– the dreaded seating charts. When it comes down to making seating charts you always want to think carefully about how you are seating your guests. But there are a few rules of thumb for etiquette when planning your seating chart. First, don’t isolate your guests. This includes not creating tables of single-only guests, or putting all the people who don’t know each other together. When planning your seating chart, you want to think about how you can group your guests for positive conversations and friendships to spark. Think about similar interests, who may work together, or who may have similar hobbies or likes. Whatever you do, don’t isolate anyone, and don’t make a whole table feel like wedding outcasts. 

#05: Don’t Forget to Say Thank You! 

Be gracious. Be absolutely gracious and say thank you to your guests. Your guests have traveled far and wide to be a part of your wedding day and many have included gifts, if you opted for that option. At some point in the evening, you need to make a point to thank each individual person, whether through a formal receiving line, visiting each table to give hugs and say thank you, or a thank you speech during your toasts. Showing gratitude is important, especially as the host. And of course, remember to send out your thank you cards in a timely manner. There are many rules of thumb regarding thank you cards, some say it’s best to send a thank you card within 6 weeks of your wedding day. Others may say, to send the thank you card before you use the item. But – ALWAYS send a thank you card. Don’t let the gifts and cards pile up and be forgotten. Create a spreadsheet and a running record of who sent what. Check it off the list when you’ve mailed the card. But tradition says, to mind your manners and be a gracious host - which of course includes those thank yous. 

Whether you’re opting for a traditional affair or a wedding with unique touches, you can choose what wedding etiquette you want to include on your wedding day. At the end of the day what is considered traditional wedding etiquette is just a fancy way of saying don’t forget your manners on your big day. Be gracious to your guests, don’t forget to say thank you, be thoughtful when planning the overall experience including time frames, seating arrangements, and letting your guests truly enjoy your event. Whether you include these traditional planning elements is up to you, but whatever you choose, keep your wedding party, guests, and yourselves in mind.

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.