What to DIY and What to NOT

Typically, when brides want to stay on a budget, the first thought to pop into their head is, “Hey, I can make that.” Enter, one of the most used phrase in wedding planning history, DIY. DIY simply means do it yourself. And, trust me, we’ve seen our fair share of DIY projects throughout wedding days. Some DIY projects have been more successful than others, but for the right couple DIY can really pinch some pennies. Bottom line, DIY is not for everyone. By this I mean, it may be easier, cheaper, and less time consuming to buy. So, let’s talk DIY today and take a trip through some projects we’ve seen, loved, or some that can be left behind. 

Now, I’m not knocking on the DIY trend. When it comes to utilizing tools and my staff’s skills, we are always down for a good DIY. Truth be told, when we had our booth at the Seattle Wedding Show, myself and my wedding planners or assistant would DIY that booth top to bottom. We made art installations, floral centerpieces or hanging hoops, and we poured our time and effort into making it a knockout. But I was always thankful to have a team with tremendous talents. Our team is also supportive with our couples when it comes to DIY. We’ve supported clients with creating centerpieces, signage, and more. So if you’re looking to DIY, but don’t know where you want to start, Elegant Affairs can help you determine what is realistic. Some of our favorite do it yourself projects are: 

  • Flowers: The Pacific Northwest is a floral DIY dream, but you have to be open to what’s available each season. There are so many affordable vendors that allow you to stray away from the traditional wholesale floral sector. I can’t even count how many weddings we’ve helped our couples create their floral dreams with DIY. We’ve had couples pick dahlias from a neighbor’s yard,  purchase $5 bouquets from the Pike Place Market, or order the exact flowers they want through the local grocer. Oftentimes, we pick up florals in the morning and our team of talented planners and asistances get to work. We’ve created centerpieces, bouquets, boutineers, floral headbands, and so much more. Bottom line, if you’re going to get into the world of floral DIY for your big day, there’s a few things you need to know. 

    • You will need supplies. Visit your local hobby shop and purchase supplies, and get more than you think you’ll need. This includes: floral tape, floral wire, pins, ribbon, or twine and gardening clippers. You will also need to find vessels for your centerpieces. You can always rent from a rental company, or head to your local IKEA or Dollar Tree. But before you dive in deep to the project, price everything out and determine if you have the time to create everything. Do you have friends you can enlist and a cool place to store the florals before the next day? I would not recommend creating any floral arrangements without a cool place to store or more than the day before. 

  • Signage: Give us all the signs! We are also lucky enough to have had some awesome hand lettering folks on our team. Our couples have opted to have additional services, such as having our team members create signage for their big day. We’ve done everything from bar signs, guest books, welcome signs, here comes the bride signs, hash tags, dessert bar… so many I can’t even count! If you’re going to tackle signs, here are some budget friendly ideas. Use wood or acrylic from the local lumber store. Or pick up old signs and frames from goodwill and give it a face lift with a good can of spray paint. So you think your handwriting is not up to par? In this world, everyone and their neighbor has a cricut. Find someone who is willing to help you cut out some vinyl for your signs. 

  • Hair and Make-Up: Even though this is such a brief moment of the morning of your wedding day, it can be a costly one. Especially if you’re springing the bill on your wedding party. And if you want to DIY it, watch you-tube, buy make-up using reviews, or know a friend who always has killer hair and make-up? Ask them to help you with your big day. Yes, you want to feel beautiful on your big day, but remember you also want to look like you. It’s okay to do your make-up on your wedding day. So, look up some Tik Tok make-up stars and get practicing, because this is a DIY activity that we support.  Fun fact - did you know that Elegant Affairs used to offer hair and make-up for brides and the bridal party? We had a talented duo of wedding planners, who were rockstars in this department. They’d even do a trial for the bride! Although we don’t offer those services anymore, we are happy to help you find budget friendly artists to help with your day, or find some make-up influencers. 


Alright, we’ve hit our three easy DIY and favorites. Now let’s talk about what we think you should pass. 

  • Hire a Caterer: Yes, hire a caterer. We know that depending on your budget, hiring a caterer may seem like a daunting task. They are also one of the largest parts of your budget, but every penny you spend on the caterer is worth it. It’s a full service, from making sure permits are in place, ensuring that your food is cooked safely and kept at the right temperatures, to cleaning up the kitchen and taking the trash at the end of the night. Yes, you read that right, at most venues, caterers have to take the trash with them when they leave the venue. So don’t skip the caterer, this is one area we do not suggest DIY.

  • Photography: This is going to be a bold statement, but your Uncle Bob with his iPhone 13 is not a wedding photographer. Your wedding photos are your lasting memories of your big day. You want to make sure your photographer fits your budget, but also will capture all of the memories beautifully. Photography can range in price points, but unless you know a photographer, we recommend hiring a professional photographer that has a contract. Because even if Uncle Bog is a rockstar photographer, what happens if he lost the photos and doesn’t have a back up? Hire a photographer folks. 

  • Extensive Decor: Creating your decor can be fun, especially if you are a DIY couple. But, who is going to set up your DIY decor on your big day? You definitely don’t want to be running around the morning of setting up all of your decor. You do not want to spend your morning running around setting up extensive wedding day decor. You want to sit back, relax, and have an extra glass of champagne. So, if you’re going this route, check in with your planner and see if you can get support for their team. At Elegant Affairs, we do offer set-up with some of our packages, which can make DIY happen. But, don’t rope in your wedding party, family and friends with your DIY set up. 

Although brief, those are our biggest do’s and don'ts in the world of DIY. We love ourselves a good DIY project, but we also know that it needs to be realistic. Be sure to budget and price out every step of your DIY project and estimate the time that it will take. Because folks, let’s get real, time is everything. If the project is going to take 20+ hours, is it truly worth your time or is hiring a vendor a better option with the hustle and bustle of making a wedding happen. If you have any DIY questions, or you are a DIY bride but don’t know how to execute it for your big day, reach out to a member of the Elegant Affairs team. Happy DIY’ing couples!

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

6 Tips for an Unforgettable Wedding Reception

A bride and her bridesmaids before her Indian wedding ceremony

We know that the most important part of your wedding day is the ceremony itself - it’s the time when you will say “we do!”.  But, we also know that you and your guests are looking forward to celebrating during the reception. I mean, what wedding guest doesn’t want to drink, eat, dance, and be merry? Most of your details will be planned around the wedding reception. Although the ceremony is the most important, most of the day will be spent during the reception. We’ve all been to a reception that… well let’s just say it was a little bit of a snooze. Let’s get some inspiration from some of our favorite reception tips and tricks to create an event that will wow your guests socks off. 

01: Make it or Break it with the Seating Arrangements 
One of the make it, or break it moments of the reception is where your guests are seated. Creating and thinking meaningfully about where your guests are seated is vital to creating a warm and entertaining environment. As you place your guests, you want to consider who they will get along with, who may become new friends, or what guests can bring others out of their shells. Place your guests with people that are able to create great conversations, bring out the best in others, and dance the night away. This may even include placing children with other children. We’ve had many weddings where kids had a specific area filled with activities to keep them busy and entertained. So, sit down with your partner and play with the seating arrangements until you’ve created a harmonious affair. And keep in mind, as you create your layout, remember you want to the space to have a nice flow. 

02: Keep Toasts Light and Sweet
This is a BIG one. As wedding planners, we’ve sat through our fair share of toasts. We’ve listened to toasts that were short and sweet and toast that went over an hour total. Yes, you read that right - an hour. While we all love a story about groomsmen or bridesmaids’ adventures with the couple, toasts are about quality over quantity. Toasts should be brief, but meaningful, and should be about the couple, not the friendships of the wedding party. Keep in mind, you are toasting to the newlywed couple. So, choose the individuals who will give a toast, wisely. Be sure to give a time limit - we recommend around 2 minutes. And if your wedding party wants to give longer notes, find a different time such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, or wedding rehearsal. But, save your guests by keeping toast light, appropriate, and sweet. 

03: Food for Thought
We know that everyone loves food. Food brings people together and is one of the highlights of the wedding reception. As you choose your food, think about what your guests would enjoy. Traditional dinners are not as common in the wedding industry now. There are different options such as: interaction stations, tapas, extended cocktail hours, food trucks etc. Think of your “dinner hour” as an experience for your guests. What do you want your guests to take away after dinner? Carefully choose your menu and offer options for guests. And, don’t forget the kids! If you have children coming to your wedding reception, be sure to be mindful of what kids can eat. Many caterers offer a kid’s menu which can be a great add-on option. Be thoughtful about your choices and don’t be afraid to get creative outside of the traditional “dinner hour” box. 

04: Play a Song, Mr. DJ
It’s entertainment time! We all love a good dance party at a wedding. As you plan your entertainment, think about what you prefer and what will keep your guests entertained. You definitely don’t want the party to be lackluster, so be sure to review your entertainment choices. If you chose to go with a band, ensure that you ask questions regarding how long their sets are or if they take designated breaks. If you make the decision to go with a DJ, find a DJ that understands your music tastes and what vibe you want the reception to have. And as always, talk to your entertainment about what you do not want to hear or see during the reception. Creating a do-not-play list is essential to make sure you’re happy with your entertainment on the big day. 

05: Hire a Wedding Planner/Coordinator 
Having a wedding planner or coordinator for your wedding day is essential. These individuals create your timeline and ensure that each detail is executed perfectly throughout the day. A planner or coordinator at your reception is key to making the event run smoothly. They cue the caterers, check in with guests, ensure everyone has a seat or table setting, cue toasts and even cut off the toasters when they run over time. They are the backbone to your wedding reception and we can’t recommend hiring at least a day of coordinator enough. You don’t want to have to oversee all of the details during the reception, nor do you want your family or wedding party to work. Hire a planner or coordinator - you won’t regret it. 

06: Don’t Feel Pressured into Favors 
Oh, wedding favors. We’ve seen all sorts of wedding favors. From cookies, s’mores kits, succulents, to bubbles. We urge you to think about wedding favors before you make the commitment. If you want to include wedding favors with your reception, think about what would be meaningful for your guests. Don’t just put a favor there, to have something there. You want to create memories or an experience to remember with your wedding favor. And, if you can’t think of anything, it’s okay to pass on the favors. At the end of the day, most wedding favors end up in the trash, so unless you have a meaningful, purposeful favor – pass and use the funds for something else. 

No matter what, your wedding day will be unforgettable. It will always be the day where you married your best friend and your better half. Be sure to think about our tips, to help your wedding guests enjoy your reception to the fullest. Think about meaningful experiences including seating, food, entertainment, toasts, favors, and don’t forget to hire a wedding planner or day coordinator. If you think you need more help crafting a perfect reception, contact a member of our team at Elegant Affairs. Until next time, happy planning! 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Building Relationships and Boundaries between Clients and Vendors

Seattle Wedding Planner Lori Losee talking about building relationships between clients and vendors.

Let’s face it, the wedding planning process can be trialing and may get a little personal. You spend months, sometimes even years, planning your big day and most of the time the largest part of your communication regarding the overall process is with your wedding vendors. For some couples, they scout out vendors over a year out. Other couples hire at the last minute. Whatever you choose, you’ll need to keep a few things in mind. You will develop relationships with your vendors and we’ve definitely learned over the years that there are boundaries that need to be developed by the client and vendor. So, let’s talk about how to build appropriate relationships with your wedding vendors and what boundaries you shouldn’t cross as clients. 

The biggest step to building a healthy relationship with your vendor is reviewing all of the services, policies, and procedures outlined in your contract. Your contract is like the blueprint to what services will be provided for your wedding day. There may be specific policies on how often you may contact your vendor, if you have to cancel, or change the date. When in doubt, stick to what is outlined for you in your contract and don’t overstep. Contracts are put in place to ensure that you provide appropriate services and that your vendor can set boundaries with their clients. If you have questions regarding your contract, be sure to ask, before you sign. Read your contract thoroughly to prevent any future disagreements or setbacks. As you go through the planning process, refer to your contract on a regular basis to search for answers or to clarify. 

Additionally, vendor contracts may also outline how often and how you can contact your vendors. Creating and maintaining healthy and positive communication with your vendors is essential to a happy planning process. Keep in mind that your vendors may have a dozen clients at a time, or even more. We recommend to focus on corresponding through emails before calling or texting. Always remember, if you don’t hear back from your vendors right away, they may be in between client meetings or at other events. Emails also allow vendors time to respond and find your answers during their designated office hours (yes – be sure to check if they have designated office hours). Plus, emails create a line of trackable communication between all parties. Now, if there is an emergency, and we’re talking week-of-kind-of-emergency, then of course text or call. But remember that your vendors have other clients and timelines, so be respectful of their communication, keep an open line, and be patient when you wait for correspondences.

One of the biggest questions that vendors receive, especially at wedding shows or expos, is “Can I get a discount?”. Let’s talk about discounts. Yes, we all love a good discount and search for the perfect coupon. And yes, sometimes vendors will offer raffles, coupons, or discounts during seasons or for different events. But, as vendors – these are our businesses, it’s how we make our livelihood. We have spent hours carefully constructing our packages, services, and prices. Many details are factored in when designing our services and products. When you sign a contract with your vendors, you are not just signing for a service, but a quality product or outcome. Our products and services have value and vendors would prefer if you’d just be upfront about your budget and service level that you are interested in. So, skip the haggling and instead of asking for discounts, work to find vendors within your set budget and price point. 

Throughout the wedding planning process, you may develop close relationships with your vendors. It is important to set boundaries and separate any personal situations that may not pertain to the needs and services of your vendors. This can support any decision making that can happen between you and your vendor as well. Additionally, if you’ve got a lot of hands in the pot, be sure that there is one designated person, if not yourself or your partner, communicating with your vendors. At times, vendors may receive an overwhelming amount of input from friends and family members. Eliminate the extra voices and hands, and ensure that the same individual is communicating and making decisions with your vendors. This will eliminate any confusion and avoid putting your vendors in a tricky situation. 

Another way to avoid a tricky situation, is to let your vendors do what they do best. A healthy relationship with your vendors includes refraining from micromanaging and instead creating a collaboration of efforts. If you’re hiring professionals, it is highly likely that this isn’t their first rodeo. Yes, you want to share your vision, select your wants/needs, but it is also up to the vendor to design execution and products etc. Your vendor has experience and knowledge in how to execute the service on your wedding day. You will want to avoid micromanaging or inferring about every detail. It is important to build trust with your vendors, and remember that you chose them for a reason. It is more than okay to ask questions, when needed, but leave the micromanaging behind. It’s time to sit back and let your vendors bring your wedding vision to life. 

Through the wedding planning process, as clients, it is vital that you set boundaries of your expectations throughout the process. But keep in mind, vendors are also working to establish boundaries in order to keep their business running smoothly and effectively. Our best advice, as vendors ourselves, is to keep the collaborative nature alive through respecting and setting boundaries for communication, contracts, services, and policies. If boundaries and healthy communication is established, it will make the wedding planning process a lot easier, and all members happy with the outcome. So, before selecting your vendors, talk it out - or if you’ve already found your vendors, take some time to reflect on your collaboration thus far. Once the relationship is positively fostered, your wedding day will go off without a bump. 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.