Let’s face it, the wedding planning process can be trialing and may get a little personal. You spend months, sometimes even years, planning your big day and most of the time the largest part of your communication regarding the overall process is with your wedding vendors. For some couples, they scout out vendors over a year out. Other couples hire at the last minute. Whatever you choose, you’ll need to keep a few things in mind. You will develop relationships with your vendors and we’ve definitely learned over the years that there are boundaries that need to be developed by the client and vendor. So, let’s talk about how to build appropriate relationships with your wedding vendors and what boundaries you shouldn’t cross as clients.
The biggest step to building a healthy relationship with your vendor is reviewing all of the services, policies, and procedures outlined in your contract. Your contract is like the blueprint to what services will be provided for your wedding day. There may be specific policies on how often you may contact your vendor, if you have to cancel, or change the date. When in doubt, stick to what is outlined for you in your contract and don’t overstep. Contracts are put in place to ensure that you provide appropriate services and that your vendor can set boundaries with their clients. If you have questions regarding your contract, be sure to ask, before you sign. Read your contract thoroughly to prevent any future disagreements or setbacks. As you go through the planning process, refer to your contract on a regular basis to search for answers or to clarify.
Additionally, vendor contracts may also outline how often and how you can contact your vendors. Creating and maintaining healthy and positive communication with your vendors is essential to a happy planning process. Keep in mind that your vendors may have a dozen clients at a time, or even more. We recommend to focus on corresponding through emails before calling or texting. Always remember, if you don’t hear back from your vendors right away, they may be in between client meetings or at other events. Emails also allow vendors time to respond and find your answers during their designated office hours (yes – be sure to check if they have designated office hours). Plus, emails create a line of trackable communication between all parties. Now, if there is an emergency, and we’re talking week-of-kind-of-emergency, then of course text or call. But remember that your vendors have other clients and timelines, so be respectful of their communication, keep an open line, and be patient when you wait for correspondences.
One of the biggest questions that vendors receive, especially at wedding shows or expos, is “Can I get a discount?”. Let’s talk about discounts. Yes, we all love a good discount and search for the perfect coupon. And yes, sometimes vendors will offer raffles, coupons, or discounts during seasons or for different events. But, as vendors – these are our businesses, it’s how we make our livelihood. We have spent hours carefully constructing our packages, services, and prices. Many details are factored in when designing our services and products. When you sign a contract with your vendors, you are not just signing for a service, but a quality product or outcome. Our products and services have value and vendors would prefer if you’d just be upfront about your budget and service level that you are interested in. So, skip the haggling and instead of asking for discounts, work to find vendors within your set budget and price point.
Throughout the wedding planning process, you may develop close relationships with your vendors. It is important to set boundaries and separate any personal situations that may not pertain to the needs and services of your vendors. This can support any decision making that can happen between you and your vendor as well. Additionally, if you’ve got a lot of hands in the pot, be sure that there is one designated person, if not yourself or your partner, communicating with your vendors. At times, vendors may receive an overwhelming amount of input from friends and family members. Eliminate the extra voices and hands, and ensure that the same individual is communicating and making decisions with your vendors. This will eliminate any confusion and avoid putting your vendors in a tricky situation.
Another way to avoid a tricky situation, is to let your vendors do what they do best. A healthy relationship with your vendors includes refraining from micromanaging and instead creating a collaboration of efforts. If you’re hiring professionals, it is highly likely that this isn’t their first rodeo. Yes, you want to share your vision, select your wants/needs, but it is also up to the vendor to design execution and products etc. Your vendor has experience and knowledge in how to execute the service on your wedding day. You will want to avoid micromanaging or inferring about every detail. It is important to build trust with your vendors, and remember that you chose them for a reason. It is more than okay to ask questions, when needed, but leave the micromanaging behind. It’s time to sit back and let your vendors bring your wedding vision to life.
Through the wedding planning process, as clients, it is vital that you set boundaries of your expectations throughout the process. But keep in mind, vendors are also working to establish boundaries in order to keep their business running smoothly and effectively. Our best advice, as vendors ourselves, is to keep the collaborative nature alive through respecting and setting boundaries for communication, contracts, services, and policies. If boundaries and healthy communication is established, it will make the wedding planning process a lot easier, and all members happy with the outcome. So, before selecting your vendors, talk it out - or if you’ve already found your vendors, take some time to reflect on your collaboration thus far. Once the relationship is positively fostered, your wedding day will go off without a bump.
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.