I don’t know about you, but when I open my mailbox and receive a handwritten thank you card for a birthday gift or wedding it is always appreciated. Growing up, my family had a rule surrounding thank you cards. First, we had to handwrite a thank you card for each person that we received a card or gift from. Secondly, we had to send out the thank you card before we used the item or spent the money. These rules have been stuck in my head for three decades. Anytime I receive a gift, card, or money – a thank you card is quick to follow. Now, this may not be the case for all. For many, thank you cards can seem more of an obligation rather than something that you want to do. So, here are some tips to make writing the thank you card less mundane and turning it into an art.
What is the time frame?
There are many ideas on when a thank you card should be sent out. After your wedding day, past myths surrounding thank you cards say that you have at least a year to send out your thank you card. While that may work for some, we believe that all thank you cards should be sent out between six and twelve weeks. This gives the newlywed couple time to enjoy their newly wedding bliss, including the honeymoon, and have ample time to unwrap each item. We understand that you cannot follow my childhood rule of sending out a thank you prior to using the gift, or with a same-day turn around, but sending out your wedding thank yous in a timely manner is ideal. Try and break up your thank you cards into chunks. Set out to write a few a day, rather than mass produce. It allows you to spend time creating a thoughtful card.
Stationery or Cards?
There is no right or wrong answer to what type of thank you card you use to address your guests. Many couples choose to create a stationary or thank you card that is aligned to their invitation suite. Other couples choose to send out a photo postcard or card. If you choose to send out a photo, be sure that you will be able to receive your photo from your photographer or vendor in time before the twelve-week deadline. Whatever you choose to use, stray far away from fillable cards, generic cards, social media thank you posts, phone calls, emails, or a statement on your wedding website. Bottom line, generic posts or cards are not meaningful and oftentimes they don’t seem appreciative or personal. Your guests are your family and friends. So, spend a few extra minutes writing a personal note. Yes, it is more than okay to have a generic saying for your cards, but if you go that route write an additional, personal note to each individual guest. It’s not a fun feeling to receive a thank you card that had no meaning or heart behind it. Don’t let your guests feel unappreciative and don’t keep your guests waiting.
Thank You to Who?
Some people may think that you only need to send a card to individuals who gave money or gifts on your wedding day, well - times have changed! There are a few other individuals who we think deserve a thank you card.
Guests that attend showers or other engagements: Be sure to thank all the guests who attended your bridal shower, engagement party, or any other arrangement you had. The same rules apply, be sure to send these out in the six to twelve-week time frame.
Wedding gifts: Any gift, small or large needs a thank you card. As you open your cards and gifts, assign someone to take notes on who gifted what, and be descriptive! Be sure to write the gift you received and any remarks you love on that gift. Include what you have used it for or your plans for it. Let’s face it, people like to know that you got their gift and that you know it’s from them. The appreciation is meaningful to guests.
Monetary gifts: Any sort of monetary gift, including a check, cash, Venmo, cash app, or a donation to your favorite charity. It is always an option to thank the person for the amount, but it isn’t necessary. But, always write what you plan to spend the money on, or what you purchased.
Party hosts: Send a thank you card to any of your hosts. This can include individual(s) who have hosted your bridal shower, bachelorette party, or engagement party. These functions are often paid out of pocket by the hosts and/or your wedding party. Sending them a warm thank you in appreciation shows your care for their support and efforts.
Vendors: Often forgotten, vendors are one of the most important people to support your wedding. Even though they are contracted to work your wedding day, showing a thank you with a quick note and even a tip, goes a long way. We always love receiving thank you cards from our couples.
We’ve all been wedding guests, bought a gift or cut a check, and never received that thank you card. Sometimes it can leave us feeling unappreciated or can leave a sour taste in our mouths. Before you think twice about sending a thank you card or think that it’s a part of the past – just go ahead and do it. Thank you cards are meaningful and show your guests that you appreciate them and their thoughtfulness. When you write your thank you cards, choose a method that will allow you to send them out within six to twelve weeks. Be personable and warm in your cards and mention exactly what each individual is gifted. Ensure that you include everyone who supported, gifted, or even attended your wedding, and don’t forget to thank your vendors!
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.