Learning Your Wedding Non-Negotiables and Creating a Wedding Vision

What is the overall experience and feel you would like on a wedding day? Designing and planning your wedding day requires a clear vision on the elements you and your partner want to experience throughout the day. You may have all of your pinterest boards pinned with beautiful ideas and images, but which ideas are the most important? Let’s talk about how you and your partner can develop a plan that is designed around your ideal vision and wedding day!

Sitting down with your partner and creating a clear vision is essential to creating a stress free wedding day. This will create a direction for your planning and decrease stress on the big day. Of course within that clear vision, there will need to be non-negotiables. Non-negotiables are the items or parts of your wedding day that you and your partner absolutely must have. Sometimes, priorities may vary from partner to partner. For example, you may think hiring a well-known photographer is an absolute must, but your partner may be more concerned to say no to the garter toss. When discussing with your partner, be open and honest about your priorities and create a list. Planning your non-negotiable list will guide your planning choices and help create a clear vision for your wedding day. As you create your wedding day vision and your non-negotiable list, here are some guiding questions to help determine what is important to you and your partner. 

What do you want your guests to feel or experience at your wedding? 

Of course, your ultimate goal of having a wedding is the act of getting married, but you may choose to have a wedding to involve your friends and family in your life. As you think about your non-negotiables, discuss what you want your guests to experience, remember, or feel at your wedding. For example, Is it an intimate affair where guests can enjoy signature cocktails and eat tapas, while mingling to a live band? Or is it filled with traditions of your two families joining as one? When your guests leave your wedding, what do you want them to walk away with?

What do you and your partner want to experience? 

Your wedding day is a celebration of your love for one another. It is vital to discuss how you and your partner want to feel and experience throughout the day. What will bring you joy on your wedding day? Do you need time to decompress after saying “I do”? Or do you want to skip the first look and watch your partner walk down the aisle for the first time? Creating a wedding for your overall experience, not just your guests, is important, too!

What are a few words that would describe your dream day?

Narrow down and create a description of what your wedding day will be like. Creating a wedding vision in words will help with decision-making in the future. If your wedding vision is family, dancing, and fun – your non-negotiables could be ensuring that everyone in your immediate family is invited, you have a great DJ or band for dancing, and a yard games outside so your guests can remain entertained. Come up with a few words to describe your day and it will guide your planning! 

Now that you’ve answered some of the essential questions in narrowing down your non-negotiables and creating a clear vision, we’ve compiled a list of helpful non-negotiables and/or discussion points for your and your partner to discuss and think about.

• Vendors: Discuss vendors in whole, down to how to select vendors and the type of vendors that will hold the most importance on your wedding day. Typically, the vendors you select that hold the most importance, may also be a good chunk of your budget. Be sure to get on the same page as your partner on your expectations for vendors, such as quality, budget, and type. 

  • Photographer 

  • Catering/Food 

  • Wedding and Reception Venue(s)

  • Florist 

  • Bakery/Cake 

• Entertainment: Entertainment plays a big part into the overall experience of a wedding. What do you want your guests to experience and feel? What do you want to experience and feel? What does fun look like for you and your guests?

  • DJ

  • Live Band

  • Photo Booth 

  • Games (Question games, yard games, interactive wedding games etc.) 

  • Bar (Open bar, partial, non-alcoholic)

• Transportation/Accommodations: Some couples want their guests to be taken care of 100%, this includes transportations and hotel accommodations. Other times, families like to be in charge of their own travel arrangements. Discuss what the needs of your guests are and how you can accommodate, or to what extent your guests will need to accommodate on their own. 

  • Hotel (Hotel blocks, offering a variety of hotels)

  • Shuttles to the wedding and reception venue 

  • Ubers and taxis 

  • Destination weddings

Okay, take a breath - we know this may have added what seems to be more to your wedding planning plate, but having an open discussion of non-negotables and creating a clear wedding vision will lead to a stress free day. Creating a list of “must have” wedding elements will make sure that everyone enjoys the wedding day, including you. So, be open and honest and create a plan that works for you and makes you feel excited for your big day!

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

How to Not Bust your Budget

We’ve all seen or been guests at a wide variety of weddings. Some with large extravagant budgets and others were small and simple. When it comes to your big day, you want to make sure that you can fulfill your wedding vision and dreams. But, as much as we want to wave our wedding planning wands and grant all dreams true, your wedding day reality comes down to budgeting and funds. Now, when it comes to creating and staying on budget, sometimes knowing how to begin can be challenging. This week we will explore all the wedding day expenses and how to not bust your budget.

Staying on a budget is tough, especially when you have a clear vision of what you want your wedding day to be. One tip would be to create a separate wedding account, just for your wedding day funds. This makes it easier to only use money dedicated for your wedding and will ensure that you remain on budget. Create a spreadsheet to record all of your budgeting information. This can include the estimated cost, actual cost, vendor information etc. Be sure to use the spreadsheet to track every financial decision during wedding planning. 

The first step in creating an effective budget is creating the guest list. Your wedding guest count will determine the majority of your wedding planning decisions and drive your budget. Almost 50% of your wedding day budget will be used on the needs of your guests. We’re talking about the venue, keeping your guests fed, providing beverages, and even entertainment. Staying with a comfortable wedding guest count will help you stay within your set wedding day budget. Once you have a total guest count, consider dividing this number in half, then each partner can create their portion of the guest list. And if you’re still having a hard time staying on budget, go back to the first step and revise your guest list.

Once you and your partner have decided what your guests count is, the next largest part of your wedding planning budget will be selecting a venue. Research a few venues and keep an open mind. Be sure to visit venues in person and select a few to tour. Venues that can hold both the ceremony and reception would reduce overall costs. Another tip is selecting dates out of the peak wedding season and choosing an alternative day and time. Check to see which venues include rentals such as tables, chairs, tablecloths etc. Venues that include basic rentals in their contract can potentially save you from having to use an outside rental company. Or, ditch the venue completely and find your way outside. Parks or approved nature reserves are a beautiful alternative to a traditional wedding venue– and it will save you money. 

Today, most venues have preferred caterers that they work with. If they do, check the total costs of each caterer, as if 100% of your guest list attends. If your venue allows you to contract outside catering companies, shop around. Save money in the catering department by having a tapas or appetizer themed dinner hour or even having your favorite taco truck serve dinner. Bottom line, be sure to read the fine lines of your venue and catering contracts and be sure to plan on the biggest part of your budget, around 40-50% to be used on contracting your venue and catering company. 

Once your venue and catering company are booked, it’s time to start looking at photographers and videographers. Depending on your budget, there are a lot of ways you can save in this area, but typically this portion will allot for 15-20% of your budget. In our social media driven world, it’s common that photographers often post on social media sites with deals or looking for support in building portfolios. But, remember to stick true to what you are looking for in a photographer and be sure to shop around. Meet with photographers in person and discuss their packages before signing on the dotted line. 

The remaining part of your budget will go towards decor, wedding attire, and entertainment. Traditionally, going to a florist was the way to go. But today, there are a lot of ways to save money and use items that are an alternative to fresh flowers. Finding thrifted finds, or using touches that could incorporate the couple could allow savings in this area. You can head to social media and look at wedding items that are being resold. This really is the area in which you can find some savings and have the ability to negotiate. As you choose these details of your wedding, think about what you must have vs. what you want; ask yourself how you can meet in the middle to stay on budget. Now, if you’re thinking DIY is the way to go, rather than going with traditional vendors, be sure to price every detail out, or find some talented friends and put them to work. Maybe your Aunt Becky is an insane baker or your colleague is a cricut master. Asking for support from those around you is one of the biggest ways to save.

So, sit down with your partner and open up Excel. Start creating your wedding day budget and breaking down each area. As you begin to plan, keep your budget at the forefront of planning and do not sign any contracts until it fits inside your wedding budget. You can stay true to your wedding day vision and priorities on a budget – you just may have to get creative with it. Happy wedding planning and remember to stick to your budget!

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.

Embrace The Emerald!

Let me tell you, we are excited with all of the new wedding color trends we are seeing. Researching into the upcoming trends, viewing past and present Pantone colors of the year, and exploring the wedding forecast for 2023 is giving us something to be excited about. We are seeing more of a moody, organic, and almost “maximalist” approach to color and we are ALL about it.

We’re bringing back a deepened version of the color Emerald for this upcoming season. Emerald can be described as lively, radiant, and lush. Pantone notes that the hue emerald can “enhance our senses of well-being by inspiring insight as well as prompting balance and harmony.” And, folks - who doesn’t want some balance and harmony this year. Emerald is a versatile color that is tied into various color schemes and resonates with any bride. 

Need some ideas to incorporate emerald into your wedding day? Check out our palettes and seasons below!

WINTER

Picture this, snow is falling, vibrant colors stand out against the white blanket of snow that covers the ground. The colors in this winter palette are vibrant, jewel toned, and expressive. Emerald and the sage green can be tied in through the use of greenery. Tie in emerald and hues of green with simple winter greenery such as: cedar, juniper, eucalyptus, and pine. Pops of mustard and dark navy blue would add dimension and depth to the color scheme scattered within your reception detail. This color palette would stand out within the winter months and would be perfect for any winter bride! 

SPRING

Spring into the wedding season with this rich emerald palette for spring. The balance of bright pink, rich emerald, mustard, and vibrant purple set the perfect foreground for a spring affair. But, of course it’s all in the details! The timeless peony can be harvested in a variety of colors and creates a whimsical but classic bouquet or centerpiece. More of a budget friendly bride? Swap in a garden rose or classic rose for a more affordable pop of pinks and purples. Then, tie in a dainty ranunculus and lavender for the perfect, balanced boutique. Add pops of emerald green and mustard on table scapes such as emerald candles, napkins, plating etc., would create a lively dynamic for any event. 

SUMMER

Summer, we are ready for you! When we think of a summer wedding, we think of bright and bold. Emerald shines in this color palette, but the other colors are center stage as well. This particular palette ties in Pantone’s color of 2023 - magenta. Magenta and emerald make a perfect contrasting pair. Magenta can add soft touches with florals, while emeralds can shine with your greenery and bridesmaids dresses. Adding hues of blue and gold in taper candles and table settings would provide contrast to your big day.

FALL

Fall is the most magical time of year. The weather turns crisp and there’s nothing quite like breathing crisp fall air or a pumpkin spice latte. This palette is a perfect representation of fall and to be honest, gives us Pacific Northwest or forest vibes. It may feature organic hues, but is nothing short of bold. Natural beauty can take its form with this color palette featuring wood tones throughout table and chairs, moss lining the aisles, flowing sheer emerald table runners or greenery, and deep red florals throughout. 

This year we are embracing the emerald with open arms. It can be tied into any season to create a bold, but timeless affair. Emerald can be used front and center, or can be used as a detail within your wedding, but it is a showstopper wherever and whenever it is used. Are you ready to find balance and harmony with emerald on your day? If so, we are here for it! 

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Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Tacoma Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.