Who Gets a “Plus One?"

When creating your guest list, plus ones are always a challenge. Let’s be real, at the end of the day you don’t want to end up with a bunch of Tinder dates at your wedding! So here are my tips for trimming down your guest list without leaving all your guests at the singles’ table.

1.       If they’re under 21 they don’t get a plus one

This is a general rule of thumb, but of course there are exceptions! But you can pretty much guarantee that if they are too young to drink alcohol they are too young for a plus one!

2.       Make sure the entire bridal party gets a plus one

Your bridal party is doing a lot for you and for your wedding so make sure you thank them with a plus one. This will keep them all happy and keep any single people from feeling awkward while surrounded by all of your married friends.

3.       If they rely on Tinder, they don’t get a plus one

Anyone who isn’t in a committed, or at least somewhat committed relationship doesn’t get a plus one. You are paying for every guest so wouldn’t you like each guest to be important to you? Your wedding should not be the venue for a first date!

At the end of the day, weddings are expensive and personal events. You don’t want to spend that day with strangers nor do you want to pay for a stranger’s meal! So be sure to keep plus ones in mind and who you are giving them too when planning your guest list.

What if wedding guests don't RSVP?

One of my biggest pet peeves of being a former bride and now as a wedding planner is when guests do not RSVP for weddings. As a bride you have done everything to make it simple for your guests by including a mailable card that is already addressed and stamped and all they have to do is check that they are attending or not and then put it in the envelope and stick it in the mailbox. Sounds simple enough, right?

What I tell my brides before they mail out their invitations is to make sure they have a spreadsheet (Excel is my personal hero) that lists who you invited, addresses, phone numbers and if by chance an e-mail address.

Be prepared for the flood of response cards, you can expect cards to be returned as soon as a few days after you mail out your wedding invitations. I love this time, this is the one time in your life where you will have so much mail with your name on it that you are actually excited to receive. The key is to record every response as they come in and don't let them accumulate around your house because chances are these little cards can be easily misplaced or accidentally thrown away.

When it comes closer to your actual RSVP date, check your spreadsheet and assess who has or hasn't responded by mailing in their card. DO NOT rely on your friends and family saying to you at a party or in passing that they are coming. Encourage your guests to send in their response cards.

The key thing to remember is to never assume that a guest will or will not be attending your wedding, having that response card is the golden ticket.

My biggest piece of advice is about a week or two to your RSVP date, contact those guests whose response cards you haven't received either by a nice phone call or e-mail. This is a task that SHOULD NOT be done by the bride a groom. This is a great job for your wedding planner or a pre-assigned family member or member of your bridal party.

Here are some reasons why guests haven't sent in their response card:

• "I totally forgot about it. Thanks for reminding me."

• "I never received my invitation."

• "I'm not able to make it so I didn't think I needed to send it in." (Most common)

When talking with these guests, be polite and ask about their response cards. If they have lost their response card, this is the only time where it is acceptable to take a verbal commitment to you wedding.

How to address Wedding Invitations

With wedding season ramping up and summer just around the corner a lot of couples are beginning the daunting task of addressing their wedding invitations. Here are a few basic etiquette tips to help you avoid the most common mistakes!

Be sure you are using the proper title (Mr. & Mrs. etc.). Be especially careful with earned titles such as Dr. as some people may get offended if they are not addressed properly.

 When addressing a married couple with the same last name, the traditional way is Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

 If the couple is unmarried, address them like this, Mr. John Johnson and Ms. Sarah Smith

 If you are giving a guest a plus one but do not know their name put, Mr. John Smith and Guest

 For a family with children (if you are inviting the children), you can address the invitation one of three ways.

The Smith Family –address the entire family at once

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family –name the parents and include the children all in one

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Samantha and Mark Smith –List everyone individually, by name

You’ve already narrowed down your guest list which is the hardest part! Addressing your invitations weather you are doing your own calligraphy or having them printed is all a part of the home stretch!