We’ve all been to weddings where we’ve family and friends pitch in to make the magic happen. Of course we love having our families and friends involved in the wedding planning process and even enjoy having loved ones around for extra support. But, let’s face it – when it comes to executing your wedding day, this includes running the day of timeline, creation and implementation of decor, and even vendors, family and friends need to leave it to the professionals. We get it, you're on a budget and your great Aunt Mollie said she can make all of the desserts and floral arrangements, but having families and friends involved on intensive levels can make stress levels rise, not just for them but for you also. So, here are our personal opinions on why you should leave the “wedding work” up to wedding professionals. 

#01: Added Stress for all Parties
Stress runs high no matter during planning a wedding. You have your vision, your fiance has theirs, and occasionally family and friends have what they want to see on your big day, too. Frequently we will see that families really want to support in making your day perfect – which is incredible! But, oftentimes, when family and friends offer to provide large acts of kindness or services, such as decor DIY/creation, it can be stressful for all parties. In our personal history, our couples that have family members chip into decor design, may struggle with drawing a boundary of personal tastes, funding, and achieving the desired look. When you book a vendor for design rentals, florals etc., you are able to count on a business professional to be reasonable with what can be accomplished and for how much. You pay for what you want and expected per your contract. At the end of the wedding planning process, the last thing you want as a bride or groom is to not be happy with the outcome or stress about executing the overall look for your day. It is more than okay to have your rentals delivered, to look and book an affordable florist, and to create the wedding design of your dreams. Now, if you family wants to support with set up, or if you’ve purchased additional decor, bring on the help! But, don’t rely so much on your family and/or friends that it becomes a not fun experience. You want your guests to walk away feeling excited and to have enjoyed the celebration. 

#02: Sometimes the Family/Friend Discount isn’t Worth it
We love a good deal as much as the next person. Our team is also all about finding deals and working within your set budget. We work diligently with our couples to be realistic about what their budget can afford and what to expect when hiring vendors. Sometimes, we will hear from couples or prospective clients that they know of a friend that can do xyz. This can include vendoring food, photography, videography etc. We’ve had a lot of experience with the family/friend discount and yes, sometimes it pays off! We’ve had couples that have a lot of talented friends to provide vending support. On the other hand, we’ve had couples that have not been satisfied with the end result of their family/friend discount. The last thing we want is for our couples to be unhappy with the vendors they selected. So, before you book your friend who is an aspiring photographer, think about what kind of quality you want. Unfortunately, budgeting the right about, and setting your expectations of quality will produce the desired outcome. It’s not a good plan to just book a friend or family member because it’s free or cheap. Think about the outcome and if you’ll be happy with it down the road. 

#03: Guests should have FUN
Your guests need to have some fun. Bottom line, your wedding day is a celebration. Family and friends travel near and far to attend your wedding day. Assigning family and friends different portions to help out before the ceremony is okay, as long as they are willing and able.  Having your friends and family work the ceremony or reception (example: bartender, impromptu DJ etc.) may not be the best plan of action, so be sure to check out reputable vendors in lieu of putting your guests to work. Now, if you do have a guest that wants to participate in providing a service or standing in as a vendor, be sure to discuss expectations for your big day. You don’t want your guests to feel left out or overworked by the end of the night. 

#04: Experience Matters
When looking at vendors, we always want to find professionals that not only match your needs, but have professional experience. We’ve worked with hundreds of vendors in our time and we can tell you that experience does matter. Vendors that have experience, not only with events, but specifically with weddings are key. We want to find vendors that have wedding experience, or even vendors that have their foot in the door with the industry. We want to collaborate with your vendors in order to provide the best experience for you, your fiance, and your guests. Family and friends may not have the same experience as a wedding vendor would have. As you select your vendors, which includes if you select family and friends, be mindful of experience, because experience matters. 

Whatever you choose in the end, whether you choose volunteers from your family and friends, or you hire professional vendors, as you select these individuals, think about the overall experience you want to create for yourselves and for your guests. Yes, having family and friends help out with your big day is absolutely okay, but you definitely don’t want to overwhelm them with DIY projects or tasks for the wedding day. It is more than OK to leave your wedding to the professionals so everyone can enjoy and celebrate to the fullest extent. 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 18 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.