I attended a wedding this weekend, as an actual guest. Although I did help the bride with coordinating the ceremony and various aspects of the design and decor process, I was able to sit back and be a guest. Yes, that means that I was able to actually have some time, “off” the clock. As I sat there and talked with bride throughout the day, it hit me. There are a lot of expectations leading up to your wedding day. You have spent countless hours planning your day and your expectations are high. But, out of these expectations, what are hopes and what is reality. Yes, you can try to plan every last detail, but there are some things that may run unexpectedly, or not turn out how you had hoped. There are always things on your wedding day that you may run into, unplanned. As I sat there talking to my bride, as her friend, I found myself reminding her that your wedding will be memorable, no matter what. The most important thing is to enjoy, and ask yourself if you enjoyed your day. So, let’s talk about some real truths on what to expect your wedding day. 

01: Your Guests

Your guests play an important role in your day. You’ve invited your nearest, dearest, or maybe your whole family to your wedding day. We’ve coordinated weddings that host an intimate group of 30, to a party of 500. Whatever your guest count is, don’t let your guests dictate your enjoyment for the day. As time and society changes, expectations and reality of guests have changed. So here are some guest realities: 

• Guests will not show up. Yes, even though your guest list RSVP’d, there are still  5%-10% of guests that will not attend your day, even with that RSVP. 

• Guests may be late to your ceremony. Don’t prolong walking down the aisle for hours waiting for 100%. Start your ceremony with at least 80% of your guests. 

• There will always be risk takers with your seating chart. Some people prefer to sit at other tables, others will pay no mind to the seating chart. Be prepared that your DJ or coordinator will need to remind guests to follow the seating chart. Fact of the matter, sometimes guests will do what they want. 

• Sometimes the biggest disappointment for a couple is the guests that leave following the wedding reception events. Your guests have ate, watched the cake cut and bouquet toss and they’ve decided it’s their time to go. It is discouraging to see your wedding reception numbers dwindle. But, there are a couple of factors to consider. First, what age group did you mostly invite? Are they folks that are typically in bed by 8PM? Second, if you notice guests are leaving, ask you DJ to switch up the music. Sometimes, your music selection will need to be adjusted to create a more lively atmosphere. Typically, guests spend 3 hours at wedding, from ceremony to reception. It’s hard to not be disappointed when your guests leave, but try to make the most of the guests you have still in attendance and don’t let them stifle your fun. 

02: Gifts

Times have definitely changed with gift giving. Some couples receive everything and more off their registry, while others only receive a few items. There are some important factors to think about when planning your registry that can determine whether your items are fulfilled or not. As you register for items, choose more than one place, for example Target and Amazon. Giving guests the option of where to shop can sometimes help increase your registry numbers. You’re also going to want to think about who you are inviting. Think about your guests budgets, what can they actually afford? Your guests that travel a distance to attend your wedding, may just not have the budget to get you a gift – and that is ok. Add items to your registry that vary in prices. Items can be as low as $5 dollars up to asking for that new Dyson vacuum you want. But, be realistic on what you ask for. You want to include items that are affordable by all. Last, send different reminders, you may want to include a registry card in the invites to remind guests. Sometimes, information can be lost if guests do not look up your wedding website. Don’t rely on the website alone. 

03: The Dreaded Curveball

Things on your wedding day may run according to planned, or let’s face it, they may not. This is where a coordinator really steps up and helps with all of the dreaded curveballs that may come your way on your wedding day. You may need to adjust the timeline, depending on how fast or slow things are running. The wedding I coordinated last week had to be adjusted by a full hour, because things were moving too slow, and we wanted to keep things moving swiftly for guests’ entertainment and delaying any additional wait time. Be prepared to roll with the punches and think quick on your feet with decision making. If a problem does come your way, ask for support, think and execute the best solution and move forward – don’t dwell. 

04: Think Positive Thoughts 

Most importantly, don’t dwell on the little things, and do your best to control any anxiety you may have. Your wedding day is important for one reason only, it is to celebrate the love that you share with your partner. Don’t let the little things bother you or ruin your day. We promise you that no one notices, and everyone is having a fabulous time. The most important thing is that you and your partner are married and that YOU both are having the best time. 

So, as your wedding day approaches, or you’re planning to be a guest for a friend, be sure to keep in mind some of these realities for the couple. Remember to make happy, long lasting memories, and work to decrease the anxiety and stress on your wedding day. 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 17 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.