Wedding etiquette is often unspoken about in the modern ages. It can be uncomfortable for some, and often many avoid talking about the subject. Traditionally, or many years ago, etiquette was that the bride’s family pays for the wedding and the groom’s family pays for the wedding rehearsal. But, folks – times have changed and what we know as etiquette or historically done has gone out the window. In today’s society, weddings are truly a reflection of who the couple are and what their values are. Etiquette varies from couple to couple. So, today – we’re here to discuss what is the modern wedding etiquette in 2024-2025. Is there still a “desired” way to throw a wedding? 

#01: Wedding Attire: 
What is wedding attire like these days? Are bridal party members still in matching dresses that always seem to be outdated? There is no right or wrong with what attire works for you. Many brides opt for dresses that are out of the box, or reflect their personality. As long as your attire is appropriate for your wedding event and fits your aesthetic, we vote to wear it. As for your wedding party, select pieces that are timeless and tie into your wedding theme and vision. Many couples opt for their wedding party to select their own pieces, but with a specified color. We love this idea because it allows your wedding party to select pieces that are comfortable to them and pick something they will hopefully invest in and wear again. 

#02: Provide Food and Drink 
This is still a time ole’ tradition that is still proper etiquette. You need to ensure that your guests are fed and have great options for food and drink. When guests attend a wedding, yes they are looking forward to celebrating the happy couple, but they also want to leave with happy bellies. You want to ensure that you’ve selected a caterer, menu, and drinks that will leave your guests feeling satisfied and that there will be plenty to go around. You never, ever want to run out of food, or leave your guests hungry for more. Ensure your guests have plenty of food and drinks, including non-alcoholic, too! 

#03: Who Pays for What? 
We are all for shared costs. Whether you and your partner sit down and create your wedding budget with just the two of you, or you ask your families to share the overall cost of your wedding… in today’s modern era, there is no reason for the bride’s family to take on the cost of the wedding. Create a safe opportunity for your families to get together and have a candid conversation to create the budget and determine what everyone is comfortable chipping in for. Or, if you and your partner want to cover the bulk of the cost, but maybe the bride’s family covers attire or decor. Don’t expect your wedding to be paid by anyone, unless it has already been predetermined. 

#04: Just Say No to Obligation 
Weddings can create a lot of feelings of obligation and big emotions. But, the bottom line is you don’t need to do anything out of obligation or tradition. You don’t need to invite everyone from the office, or your parents’ friend of a friend. Do not invite people that you don’t love, don’t share or celebrate your love, or will cause unwarranted stress. You can also curate your timeline to fit your wants and needs. If you don’t want to toss the bouquet, don’t do it. If you want to cut your first dance in half, then do it! This year, let’s create the trend of saying no to things that don’t suit you and creating healthy boundaries. You do not have to invite people or create moments during your wedding day out of obligation. 

#05: Leave the Drama Behind 
It is okay to have conversations with your family and friends to leave the drama at the door. Weddings or any large family events can bring drama. Set boundaries with your friends and families and create expectations for behaviors. It is so important to explain what you need to feel and be supported. You don’t want to create any unwanted stress and don’t want your loved ones bringing stress to your wedding day. Keep it simple and be up front with drama and limit any stress that may head your way! 

#06: Send Thank You Notes
This is a time old trend that needs to stay. Many people may think that thank you cards are a thing of the past, but in fact this is a wedding etiquette tradition that needs to stay. Please send a thank you card to your guests. Thank them for their time and acknowledge the gifts that they have given you. This not only acknowledges your guests, but it shows your appreciation for their time, support, and gifts. You never want your guests to have a sour taste in their mouths post wedding and you always want others to be appreciated. 

#07: Consider your Guests 
Weddings are truly a celebration for all. Yes, they are celebrations of the couple, but you bring everyone together to celebrate love. Your guests are the foundation of your wedding event. Everything you decide should not only align to your wants but also keep your guests comfortable. You never want your guests to feel not welcomed or uncomfortable. Keep your guests in mind as you plan and be considerate of their needs. Consider what your guests are doing during the wedding and ensure they are comfortable throughout. 

#08: Be Present 
Be present on your wedding day. You don’t need to be the queen or king of the party or feel the need to be everywhere at once, but be present for your guests and yourselves. Take time to enjoy your wedding, let the vendors and wedding coordinators focus on executing all the details. Focus on enjoying your newlywed bliss and enjoying your family and friends. Let your energy soar and enjoy your wedding day. 

There are so many traditions in the wedding industry and for some reason as soon as couples get engaged all these traditions flood their mind. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what is right and what is wrong, but at the end of the day, your wedding is for you and your partner. The wedding etiquette we’ve discussed isn’t for everyone, but they are our suggestion for modern couples in this modern time. Whatever you and your fiance choose, or implement, as long as you make the decision together – that is what matters. Happy planning all! 

Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.