Modern Wedding Etiquette: 8 Key Tips for 2024-2025 Couples
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So you are ready to pop the question and plan your engagement. If this is you and you’re ready to propose to your significant other, congratulations! Luckily for you, we’ve been in the business for just about two decades and know a thing or two about pulling off the perfect engagement. There are many different ways to propose. For myself, my now husband proposed randomly one evening when I least expected it. If you’re not the last minute or spur of the moment kind of a guy or gal, planning the engagement and proposal process is the way to go. We’ve compiled a few steps that can help alleviate the stress and plan the perfect proposal and engagement.
#01: Create the Diversion Plan
If you’re a thrill seeker or even enjoy an element of surprise, you’d want to create a plan that will get your significant other out of the house and out and about to your desired location. You may want to create a plan, or diversion, that isn’t too crazy or out of your normal element. Let’s just say – if you want it to be a complete surprise, we recommend creating a normal backstory or idea. Maybe sky diving isn’t the way to go, especially if it’s out of your normal element.
#02: Think Ahead
Think ahead about what kind of proposal you’d like to create. Do you want family in attendance? How do you want to document or do you even want to photograph the moment? Many couples opt for hiring a professional photographer, or even having their family in on the plan to capture the moment. Talk to your loved ones about creating a plan and discuss if family and friends will be involved in the moment, or will stay hidden until after you pop the question.
#03: Take a Pause
If you are the one doing the proposal, it may seem like time drags or slows down. But, when you do take a knee, stay down on your knee for as long as possible, as long as it continues to be natural. This will allow your family, friends, and even photographer to capture the moment. It will also allow your significant other to soak up the moment. We recommend you count to 5 (1 mississippi…2 mississippi… etc.) and then pop up. The pause will allow your finance to soak up the moment too.
#04: Try it on for Size
We always suggest taking a current ring of your loved one down to the jewelry to ensure the sizing is right and if you aren’t sure of your loved ones size, you can purchase a ring size adjuster! These are metal or plastic adjusters that will go on their ring and allow them to wear it as is until you can take it down to the jewelry. The quickest way to ruin the proposal is for the ring not to fit, whether it is too small or too big.
#05: Post Proposal
Take time to celebrate and plan something afterwards! Whether it is just time for you and your partner to celebrate, or you want to celebrate with your loved ones, take the time to enjoy the moment and create memories as an engaged couple. So, pop the bubbly, and spread the word with your loved ones. Take time to Facetime your parents and family and then meet up for a dinner.
#06: Don’t Rush
After you’ve said “Yes!” it is OK to take your time. Do not feel like you have to immediately rush and cross things off your list. We recommend keeping your engagement around a year to have ample time for planning and to limit stress. One of the first items you can check off your wedding planning list is to set up a consultation with a wedding planning company. We always suggest determining your budget and/or meeting with a wedding planner first to begin the process.
#07: The First 1-2 Months
A good rule of thumb is to tackle one wedding planning activity or goal per month. You will want to accomplish a few tasks within the first few months including: hiring a wedding planner, selecting your venue and/or location, and creating a rough guest list to determine your budgets for the venue and caterer. Within the first month or two, it is the perfect time to schedule tours and start looking at preferred vendors. If you’re able to book your planner and venue within the first two months you’re moving at a good pace.
#08: Tackling a Task a Month
From there on out, we recommend you tackle a task or two a month. You want to begin booking your vendors 9-12 months out from your wedding date. As you begin to book, be sure to look at reviews, client testimonies, determine what kind of vendors you can have at your venue, and then book consultations or tastings. During this time, you’ll want to hire the following vendors:
Photographer
Videographer
Florist
Caterer
DJ/Band and/or Entertainment
Hair and Makeup
Paper Items (Invitations etc.)
#09: Wedding Party Attire
We recommend you start looking for your wedding attire, specifically your wedding dress, about 10 months prior to your wedding date. Many dresses, especially designer or boutique dresses can take months to make and/or order. Then, you will need ample time with your tailor to adjust the dress and/or attire as needed. Don’t go out and purchase the first dress you see, we recommend you take your time and shop. But, plan accordingly, shop early and select a dress that you know you’ll love down the road. Timeless is KEY!
As your timeline continues, knock out items as your wedding day approaches. We highly suggest you meet with a wedding planner for assistance. They will help you create a detailed timeline and ensure you are staying on top of your wedding to do list. As your time as an engaged couple comes to a close, be sure that you are taking time to enjoy each other, soak up the moments, and that you can enjoy your time pre-marriage together.
If you’re planning on getting engaged or are newly engaged, we’d love to hear from you! Reach out to a member of your team today!
Lori Losee is the owner of Elegant Affairs, a Seattle Wedding Planner with over 19 years of experience. We create awe-inspiring experiences—Events filled with meaning and refined elegance. Behind the scenes, our experienced team collaborates on each stage of the process, executing your vision and a wedding, celebration, or corporate event that is unique to you.